There’s no denying it, things change. “All things are impermanent” is an axiom often attributed to the Buddha, but we can find similar statements throughout history. It is an undeniable truth. Some belief systems hold that although material things change, there is something fundamental that doesn’t: the soul, God, our psyche, and so on. I won’t address that now, as it is beyond the scope of what I’d really like to talk about today.
When I came to Poland in 2015, I was hoping for change. A change not just in place or in occupation, but a change in perception. I hoped for hope to be a part of my life again. In America, I had fallen into a bit of a rut. Every day was mostly the same, and future days could not be predicted to be any different. Even in comfort, this can be a demoralizing and draining forecast. Maybe, I thought, all I needed was one change and everything else would fall into place.
There’s another saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.” We don’t necessarily leave our problems behind when we move. More often, we take them with us. Why? Because they are us. Or, maybe more accurately, they are among the things that make us who we are. To semi-quote the Buddha, our enlightenment is fed not by our wisdom, but by our suffering. We can’t have one without the other.
So, as I write this now, I am very aware of the things I continue to keep with me. Certainly the changes of moving to a new country, getting married, working in a different field have led to opportunities for even more and greater shifts in my life. I admit that I haven’t always taken advantage of those opportunities, but I am learning to do so. The biggest change for me has been to embrace my own vulnerability. It seems counterintuitive that in order to become stronger we must allow for weakness, but it’s really the only way to make space for our potential. Do you move forward by holding still? Do you gain flexibility by never stretching?
What does being vulnerable look like? Admitting mistakes is one. Saying, “I don’t know”, is another. Laughing at the wrong time, farting, looking in the mirror at an increasingly graying and wrinkling face are also good. But it’s also deeper than that. All too often, we believe in ourselves as these unchanging beings who somehow are unaffected by the world around us. We are solid, permanent entities moving through the landscape like a train chugging along its track, or a bullet punching through its target. What if, instead, we saw our existence as a product of those events and people who make up that landscape? Or even more to the point, we and all the things we encounter make each other. Where is the line between a person and their environment?
What we call “reality” is not static, but the dynamic flow of creation and destruction. It is Change. So, if you want change in your life, you needn’t do anything. It will happen on its own. When I look at my life before, I was resistant to this natural process, and as a result, I suffered. The question I ask myself now is, are you able to be soft enough to flow with and be with and affect the inevitable? I don’t know, but I hope so.
Exercises:
Look at the text. What do these words mean?
- Axiom
a. a tool used to cut wood
b. a statement of truth
c. a rod connecting two wheels - undeniable
a. it can’t be found false
b. it can’t be proven
c. it can’t be said - beyond the scope
a. it’s far away
b. it’s outside the topic
c. it’s not possible - to fall into a rut
a. have a good time
b. fall down
c. do the same boring things over and over without change - semi-
a. sort of, half
b. quickly
c. badly - shift
a. a period of work
b. a change
c. a problem - to embrace
a. to push away
b. to make stronger
c. to accept, to hug - to admit
a. to allow someone to enter
b. to casually say something
c. to say an uncomfortable truth, to confess - vulnerable/vulnerability
a. about anger
b. about being unprotected, open
c. about love
Are there any other words you don’t know? Try to figure them out by context.
Answers:
1.b
2.a
3.b
4.c
5.a
6.b
7.c
8.c
9.b