We have a saying in English, “You can never have too many friends”. But what is a “friend”?
One of the biggest differences in American and Polish culture is the definition of friend, or, maybe more accurately, who gets to be included as a friend, and who is merely an acquaintance. For Americans, the friend label comes easily. For example, a friend can be someone I just had a chat with in a bookstore. We discover that we both like many of the same things and feel good around one another. I like you, you like me – so, you’re my friend, right?
Of course, we have different levels of friendship. There are work friends that we only see at work, school friends we only see at school, party friends we only see at parties, etc. None of these are* really “colleagues”. All work friends are colleagues, but not all colleagues are work friends. You don’t like everyone you work with, do you? Oh, and by the way, we don’t really use the word “colleague” when we’re in school. Every time I hear a student say that, I imagine little kids in suits carrying briefcases to staff meetings.
Anyway, back on topic. There are different levels of friendship, and the most important are those whom we call “close friends”. These are probably the nearest to the Polish meaning of friend. These are the people you can actually say you love, can rely on, and would feel empty without. Above that, we have our “best friend”. We’ve referred to this person in many ways: best mate, bestie, BFF, my person, even brother or sister.
As I write this, I realize that it’s very hard to really define what makes a best friend. It seems to go beyond just who we love and trust. Isn’t it strange that there can be a whole other person, with their own story, their own dreams, interests, and intentions – and that other person becomes so essential to your own life and emotional landscape? Perhaps it’s OK that it remains a mystery, and just allow ourselves to be grateful for those with whom we share our lives.
*Traditionally, it should be “none of these is”, because “none” means “not one”, which is singular. However, the rules are changing, and for many people “none are” is correct. It could be argued that “none” should be plural, because the word refers to a collection of things, and is in this way the opposite of “all are”.
Exercises
- I was so embarrassed! I met an acquaintance at the market who called me by name, but I didn’t even know his!
An acquaintance is:
a. A good friend.
b. Someone you don’t know very well.
c. Your mother’s sister. - Which is correct: None of my friends are/is here now.
a. are
b. is
c. that depends… - What’s missing in this sentence?
I like cookies, cake, pie.
a. and
b. nothing is missing
c. paczki! - No one knows where our friend’s favorite boots are, and it remains a mystery to this day.
Remains a mystery means:
a. We found pieces of his boots, and we don’t know why.
b. We finally found his boots.
c. We still don’t know where is boots are. - Which is correct: With who/whom did you go to the movies?
a. whom
b. who
c. both
Answers below:
- b
- b or c
- a (and c)
- c
- a