March 31, 2023
An American in Poland. That’s what people think of me. But, what does that mean? Personally, I don’t really feel like an American. But my wife, who is Polish, frequently reminds me of my Americanness. In the first few months after my arrival, she would often comment on how much space I’d take up. It was true. A backpack in one chair, my coat in another, and my body in a third, my phone on the table. Years of being conditioned by automatic doors meant I usually forgot to close them behind me when leaving a shop. And I marveled at the free-for-all, every-man (or old lady)-for-himself (or herself) when getting on a bus. Queing, as a concept, seems to be reserved only for trendy hotspots, like Manekin (where, I admit, I have eaten), and markets (although Biedronka seems to have its own culture).
I have improved as an ex-pat guest. I only use one, maybe two chairs now. I mostly remember to close the door behind me. The queing problem still aggravates me, but I can adapt. So, am I still an American? Is my Americanness only found in contrast to Polishness?
What is it to be Polish? My Polish friends often say, “To complain about everything”. I don’t have the heart to tell them, but Americans complain just as much. The difference is, Americans boast as much as they gripe. We love to let everyone know that we have the biggest, the best, the most fill in the blank. Whether or not it’s actually true that we have the biggest, the best, the most fill in the blank is not relevant, because we then get to complain about those folks who don’t believe us. It’s a great game!
Maybe being Polish means that you are suspicious of strangers, and that you don’t speak to them unless you absolutely must. Like, exchanging “dzien dobry” and “do widzenia” with those unknown fellow travelers we happen upon in an elevator. Ironically, this is something I’ve never seen an American do, despite our reputation for being super-friendly. Of course, we will stop and talk to you in a bookstore about that book you picked up off the shelf, and how great it was, and didn’t you just love the author’s last book, and now you are my friend even though we’ve only been talking for 15 minutes, and so you must come to dinner sometime! But, if instead, our first meeting were in an elevator, then we’d do our best to pretend we were riding alone, looking anywhere but at those invading bodies creeping in too close; and at the moment the doors open, escaping out, relieved that we survived another ordeal being trapped in that horrible little room with Other People.
There are things I find endearing about the Polish. The way you say “dziękuję” when you leave the table after a meal. The memories you keep of harder times and the thus derived wisdom that even the best of times are fragile, and so must be cherished and enjoyed while they last. The sweet, innocent disbelief regarding what a great, beautiful country you have, and just what all the incredible things you offer the rest of us.
And what do you have to offer? Here’s a list, just off the top of my head:
Mushroom hunting in quiet, beautiful forests
Cheap, good beer
Wild wedding parties (Disco Polo notwithstanding)
Friends who treat you like family
Amazing bread
Pierogi
Incredible architecture from the Middle ages, through Soviet times, to modern glass boxes
Cool restaurants/bars
Nature! Lakes! Rivers! Trees! Mountains!
And there’s more, which I’ll save for another post
I am an American in Poland, and I love my life here.
Questions after reading:
1. Why did I use the word “Americanness” instead of “American nature, or personatlity”?
2. “She would often comment on how much space I’d take up.”
What does it mean to “take up space”?
a. to occupy
b. to pick up
c. to empty
3. I marveled at the free-for-all, every-man(or old lady)-for-himself(or herself) when getting on a bus.
What does it mean “to marvel”?
a. to become a superhero
b. to be amazed
c. to be angry
4. “I don’t have the heart to tell them.”
What does this idiom mean?
a. I am heartless and cruel
b. I don’t have the courage to tell them something difficult
c. I don’t care about them
5. What are “boasting” and “griping”?
6. What do you think is great about Poland?
Answers:
2. a
3. b
4. b